Goodbye 2016, Hello 2017

2016 is going to be over in a couple of days. I have had people tell them that 2016 was the worst year for them. To be honest, 2016 was a mixture of the both. 2016 was a year that I learned a lot. And my life changed. It changed for the better.

I have had several major events this year. I started a new college, I made new friend's, I started talking to an amazing guy and then lost him.

I really hope that 2017 is even better than 2016. I have a feeling that 2017 is going to be a year that God shines through.

I don't know how this post is going to turn out. It may just be a jumble of things. I'm just writing as things come to me.

2016 started in January. January was a great month for me and it was also a sad month. We started tours at the community college I went to. This also meant that my time there was coming to a close. I loved tours. It allowed me to see not just students from my former high school but students from schools all over the Wiregrass. My favorite visit was when my former high school came. I got to see so many of my friend's that I had known in high school. I got to take a group of girls that I knew around the school. They basically requested me.

January was also my last Homecoming as a student at ESCC. I got the privilege of helping and giving the flowers out to the queens. It was great just being with my friends.

February was kinda a hard month for me. One of my first friends at ESCC was in a car accident and died. I had just seen her at college a couple of days before. I wasn't close to her but we had classes together and she was one of the first people that talked to me.

Nothing exciting happened in March. I went to school and came back home every afternoon. I didn't have any special events happen.

April was the month where I found out who exactly my friends were. It started during the SGA President campaign. All of the Ambassadors were split between the two people running. One girl had most of the Ambassadors helping her and the other girl had three of us. I was helping the girl with the least amount because I was closer to her. The other girl and her supporters were causing trouble for us. They told the recruiter that I couldn't count the ballots because I was helping one of the candidates but the former SGA President could help and he was helping the other candidate. The people that stuck with me was the people that I really considered my friends and it was very little.

In April, we also took our Diamond Doll pictures and had our last few home games. The baseball games were some of my best memories. So much talk happened in the concession stands. And so many memories happened.

April ended by my school having our annual Founder's Day celebration. We all get together for the day around the track and we have different activities. This past year, we added a lip sync battle and it was amazing. Some of the faculty also grill hamburgers and hotdogs. We also have some classic relay races. It is just an opportunity for everyone to get together and celebrate when our school was founded. 

In May, my college had it's annual Miss ESCC pageant. I was backstage helping the girls get dress and everything. I also had to make sure that they were on stage when it was their turn. The girl's all looked beautiful. It was such a great night. 

June was an exciting month for me. I went to summer camp down at the beach. I absolutely love this camp. It is called Big Stuf and it is amazing. Middle and high schoolers from all over the US meets down at PCB for either a weekend or a week. My youth group stayed for a week and it was absolutely life-changing. I grew so much closer to God during this week. I also grew closer to my youth group. This year was different, my youth pastor asked me to be a small group leader for the middle school girls in my group and I loved it. And I made an impact on the girl's lives. 

July was our annual Vacation Bible School. This year was a little different. We didn't have individual teacher's for each of the classes. We had helpers that carried the kids to the different classrooms. VBS is such a special thing for me. I love all of the children. And seeing them grow in their faith is amazing.

August started a busy season with me. I started back to school. But this year was a little different. I started at a 4-year university and I started the classes I needed for my major. I also connected with an amazing guy. He actually helped made the transition easier for me since he was already at the campus. And I made some new friends.

September wasn't eventful. The school was getting harder and I was having to take tests. I also started going out into the local schools for observation hours. I had so much fun. And I met a great mentor teacher that really helped me out. September was also Homecoming for the high school I graduated from. It was nice to see all of my old friends and hang out with them for the night.

October was a fun month. My youth pastor married an amazing woman. It was a beautiful wedding. Their relationship is so focused on God and that is so great. The second term of classes started and they were so much easer than the first semester.

November was my 21st birthday! It was also Thanksgiving and just a relaxing month for me.

December has been calm for the most part. I finished my classes with A's and B's. I visited family for Christmas and had a great Christmas. I have a winter retreat coming up at the end of December. December was also when the guy that I was talking to wanted some time away. He decided that we were getting serious and he didn't need a serious relationship right now. It really hurt because I really liked him. And it kinda ruined my Christmas. But I had to put a brave face on for my family.

But the best thing about 2016 happened in December right after finals. I found a group chat of about 270 amazing Christian's that are on fire for God. I didn't realize when I joined what an impact they would have on my life but now I know. They came into my life when I would need them. I just didn't know that when I joined. The girl's in the chat helped me when I was hurting and not able to tell my personal friends and family. These people are some my family now. I literally talk to them all day and most of the night. These people are the next generation.


My 2016 had some up's and down's but I wouldn't change it for the world. It has helped me grow as a person and shaped me. God has done amazing things in my life so far and I can't see what he does in 2017.

2017 is going to be a special year. It is going to be a year where God really shines through. It is going to be a year where I focus on myself and him. Nothing is going to get in the way. I am going to live my life for him. 2017 is going to be a time for revival. It is going to be a time where I cut out people that isn't going to allow me to grow as the person I am supposed to be. So I ask are you ready to join me on this adventure. Because it is not going to be easy.

Secret Santa

Hi, guys. I just wanted to say Merry Christmas, to begin with. And I hope that you have had a wonderful Christmas season.

I am in a group on Facebook for female bloggers. These girls are really good bloggers and everything. They always do a Secret Santa gift exchange. And this was my first year to participate. I had to fill out a form with all of my information on it and then I was invited to fill out a wish list. Every girl filled out their section out and when the Secret Santas were picked, that is where they picked out our gifts. 

My Secret Santa was Raine Hayes.
Her blog is called Raine In The City and the URL is http://www.raineinthecity.com/

Her Twitter is @raineinthecity
Her Instagram is @raine_inthecity

I absolutely loved this box and this stuff is stuff that I will use all the time. I also wanted to say thank you to the girl that was my Secret Santa. Below is was she included in my box: 

The first item was Mint Hot Chocolate. The container is so adorable. I will use this when it gets colder outside. I absolutely love hot chocolate after coffee of course. 

The second item was a little set that included paper clips and push pins. I always need paper clips at school so this will come in handy. And they are in cute colors. 

The third item was an EOS lip balm. I love these because my lips get so chapped in the winter. And they smell so amazing. 

My Secret Santa also put some candy in my gift. And the candy is the kind that I love so good job. 

The last two items are stationary items. She included a set of note cards. I always use note cards and they are so precious. She also included a day's of the week calendar. It is so small and handy so I can take it with me plus it is adorable. 

Top 11 Christmas Movies

I basically love Christmas and everything that deals with it. But Christmas are my favorite thing. I love the story lines to them and just how they make me feel. I have been watching Christmas movies since before Halloween. I am going to be sad when they aren't played on tv anymore.

My family has always been big Christmas people. We celebrate Christmas very big. We normally sit down together as a family to watch Christmas movies. It is something that we do to relax after a busy day.

I have also included some of my favorite quotes from the movies.

Below I am posting my top 11 Christmas movies. These movies aren't in any particular order. They are just in the order that I think of them in. I have also included some honorable mentions at the end of the list. Here we go:

1) Dr. Suess How The Grinch Stole Christmas- "And what happened, then? Well, in Whoville they say - that the Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day. And then - the true meaning of Christmas came through, and the Grinch found the strength of *ten* Grinches, plus two!"

2) Polar Express-

1. "Seeing is believing, but sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can't see." 
2. "At one time most of my friends could hear the bell. But as years passed, it fell silent for all of them. Even Sarah found, one Christmas, that she could no longer hear its sweet sound. Though I've grown old, the bell still rings for me...as it does for all who truly believe."
3. "This bell is a wonderful symbol of the spirit of Christmas, as am I. Just remember, the true spirit of Christmas lies in your heart."

3) It's A Wonderful Life- "Everytime a bell rings, an angel gets his wings"

4) National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation- I seriously can't pick a quote from this movie because the entire movie is amazing.

5) A Charlie Brown Christmas-
"Charlie Brown: I guess you were right, Linus. I shouldn't have picked this little tree. Everything I do turns into a disaster. I guess I really don't know what Christmas is all about.

[shouting in desperation]

Charlie Brown: Isn't there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about?

Linus Van Pelt: Sure, Charlie Brown, I can tell you what Christmas is all about.

[moves toward the center of the stage]

Linus Van Pelt: Lights, please.

[a spotlight shines on Linus]

Linus Van Pelt: "And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, 'Fear not:"

[Linus drops his security blanket on purpose]

Linus Van Pelt: "for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the City of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.' And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.'"

[Luke 2:8-14 KJV]

Linus Van Pelt: [Linus picks up his blanket and walks back towards Charlie Brown] That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown."

6) Miracle on 34th Street- "Faith is believing when common sense tells you not to. Don't you see? It's not just Kris that's on trial, it's everything he stands for. It's kindness and joy and love and all the other intangibles."

7) Prancer- There isn't very many quotable quotes in this movie but it is still really good.

8) The Santa Clause Series-

"Seeing isn't believing. Believing is seeing"
"Lucy: [opening the door to see Curtis] Are you an elf?Curtis, the Experimental Elf: Why, no, of course not.Lucy: Then why do you have pointy ears?Curtis, the Experimental Elf: Because I didn't eat my green vegetables. Do you eat your green vegetables?
Lucy: [covers her ears] Uncle Scott!"

9) Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer- "Why am I such a misfit? I am not just a nitwit. Just because my nose glows... why don't I fit in? "

10) Beauty and the Beast: Enchanted Christmas- "As long as there's Christmas, I truly believe, that hope is the greatest of the gifts we receive."

11) Santa Baby and Santa Baby 2- There are too many quotes to list here.

Honorable Mentions:

Jack Frost

A Christmas Carol

Elf

Frosty

A Christmas Story

What is your favorite Christmas movie? Did I mention it? Have you seen any of the movies that I mentioned? Comment below and tell me.

God is Amazing!

God is amazing! I finished finals this week at college so I was stressed and just ready to be done with the term. I decided to get on Twitter to just relax and chill. It was Tuesday night when I saw a tweet from Bailey and John about a group message for Christians. I DM'd Bailey and asked him about it. As I was waiting for the DM from Bailey, I saw that John posted a link to the group. So I created an account on GroupMe and joined the group. That was the best thing I ever did.

This group message was first called Jesus Is Lit Fam and then it was called Fellowship On Fire. This group of people is amazing. In 72 hours the group grew to 200+ people. And today it has 253 members. Small groups, girl groups, guy groups, Snapchat groups, morning worship sessions, and more have been created through the one group. I have made family and friends that are amazing. Friends and family that are all over the world. And different time zones that are horrible

The conversations aren't just about God and the bible. Yes, that is what the group mainly is about but it's more. We ask questions, refer to passages, suggest books and music. We have inside jokes and random conversations. We laugh together and cry together. We threaten to leave the messages and come back ten minutes later. We are Lit. Stories are being told and conversations are being made. Screenshots are not allowed inside the group message. There are 7,000 messages coming through a day. We also have video chats where we can see and hear each other since so many people live in other places.

I am so glad that I get to be apart of this wonderful group of College students. We are the next generation. We are the generation that is going to start a revival. God is amazing for bringing us together.

Sometimes God puts people in your life as a blessing. And these people are. I never expected to be in this group of wonderful youth. Youth that are going to change the world one day. God just puts people in your life at the perfect time. All of us were struggling with finals and this group just gave us a place to relax and step away from finals. A place where we can share our heart and not get judged. A place where we can be ourself and worship God. A place where people understand us and will pray for us.

Small groups are being formed so we can dig deeper into God's word. These groups will allow us to talk about different passages in the bible. Deep discussions will take place in these groups. We will also be able to video chat and talk. Small groups allow small friendships to be formed. These groups are amazing.

Girl group/Guy group were formed so we can break away from the main group and talk about personal stuff. Deep discussions are shared in this group. We can share our hearts and talk about relationships and guys without having the guys know what we are talking about. I love this group! These ladies are amazing! We lift each other up and support each other. Pranks are formed in these groups and sometimes goes into the main group.

Snapchat groups were formed so we could see what each other does during the day. We can chat or post pictures. We have 3 of them so far.

Morning worship sessions were formed so we could get on Skype and worship God together. We have a playlist that we are playing and sharing. These are songs everyone loves.

I want to thank God for allowing me to be a part of this amazing group! These people are amazing and I hope to meet them someday.

Gilmore Girls- A Year in the Making

So this post was spontaneous. I don't know what it will end up as but I hope that it makes sense. It is almost midnight and I am up writing. I am also watching Netflix and this is what prompted this blog post.

I have been watching the new renewal of Gilmore Girls. It is amazing and I am really loving it. It has taken me two days to watch all four episodes. I was never really a fan until recently when I heard that this new series was coming out. I then started binge watching the show on Netflix to catch up for the newer episodes.

My review of the show was that is was amazing. I loved how the producer tried to identify each character. I loved how Luke, Rory, and Lorelei was portrayed. I have been a fan of their's for a while.

But the purpose of this blog post is to talk about Rory and Logan. I actually had a friendship/relationship like their's for 4 years. No, I didn't fly across the world all the time to see him. We saw each other maybe twice in 4 years. I really don't publically put this out there but it is something that has been on my mind recently since I have seen A Year in the Making.

Let me give you a little background story about this guy and me. Let's call him B. B and I went to high school together. We talked and were friends during high school. It wasn't until the summer until my senior year of high school until we both figured out that we had feelings for each other. And at that time, he was halfway across the ocean in Hawaii. It was that way for 4 years. I was in Alabama and he was in Hawaii. It sucked.

We were friends but we weren't in a relationship because of the long-distance. We told each other that we loved each other and wanted to be with each other. We were each other's support system even though we had a time zone between us.

I wasn't the only girl in his life though. I was basically girl like Rory was. He was engaged to a girl and flirt with her one moment and me the next. She didn't live in Hawaii though. I really don't think that I was the only girl that was his other girl.

But I really did love him. I loved him like Rory loved Logan. He was my rock. I depended on him for everything. The one time that I did spend with B was wonderful. We were at Homecoming together. We sat together and talked and flirted like we always did.

This summer we finally said goodbye. It wasn't as dramatic as Rory and Logan's but it was bittersweet. We decided to end it because we didn't feel the same way anymore. I was tired of being the other girl. I will always love him even if it is as a friend. He will always be in my life no matter what. But he won't be in my life as a boyfriend or guy that I like. There is someone else in that position now. This guy is my Luke or Jess. He is great. And I hope to tell y'all about him sometime.

Until then, have a great day. And always remember to follow your dreams because sometimes you meet an amazing guy out of nowhere.

Influenster Box

This week  I received a package in the mail from Influenster. Influenster is a website/app where you can take surveys and have stuff sent to you for free. In return, you have to write reviews and do different activities.

I wasn't expecting the package I received this week. This is my birthday month so it was a nice surprise. I forgot I filled out a survey for these products. I received the Elf package today and I am so excited. I love Elf makeup. I use it with Covergirl daily. I am excited for the products I received.
Time to get a holiday glow!

I will post an updated blog post after I try the products out a couple of times. This is just an initial post introducing the products.

I received 5 products from Influenster:

Hydrating Bubble Mask- This product goes on as a gel, and then transforms into a refreshing fizzy bubble foam that removes excess dirt and cleanses pores without drying them out.

Mineral Infused Primer- This product helps prep your skin so makeup goes on silky smooth for a long-lasting finish.

Lip Exfoliator- This product treats and helps smooth lips for a soft and supple pout.

Matte Lip Color- This product glides on effortlessly and gives long lasting, richly pigmented matte color.

Baked Highlighter and Bronzer- This product creates a gorgeous sculpted glow.

I am so excited to try out these products! And I am going to post a detailed review when I have used them for a couple of days. 

Giving Thanks

Thanksgiving is tomorrow and it has me thinking. My birthday has also passed. It was November 10th and I turned 21. In honor of my birthday and Thanksgiving, I am going to post 21 things I am thankful for.

We shouldn't just be thankful during the month of November. We should be thankful every day. Included below are 21 reasons I am thankful:

1) I am thankful for my parents.

2) I am thankful for my 3 brothers.

3) I am thankful for God.

4) I am thankful for my friends.

5) I am thankful for my youth group.

6) I am thankful for my church.

7) I am thankful that I knew my grandfather.

8) I am thankful for baseball.

9) I am thankful for football.

10) I am thankful for ESCC.

11) I am thankful for Courtney T.

12) I am thankful for John Cody Burdeshaw.

13) I am thankful for my Ambassador family.

14) I am thankful for Samantha S.

15) I am thankful for my Education friends.

16) I am thankful for Christmas.

17)I am thankful for my hometown.

18)I am thankful for fall and winter.

19)I am thankful for Netflix.

20)I am thankful for my high school friends.

21)I am thankful for Byron and his friendship.

Beeswax Lipbalm

Hi, guys. I just wanted to let y'all know a product I was sent by an amazing girl to try out. It is a lip balm that is made out of beeswax. The name of the company is Bee by G Beauty. Her father owns the bees and the beeswax is harvested from them. All of the products are natural. She said that she makes the lip balm with moisture in mind so that it is great for your lips and works to heal the skin. Right now her shop is just lip balm but she hopes to expand to lotions and scrubs soon with the same skin healthy thoughts in mind. 

I received the products in the mail this past weekend and I have been using them all week. The products are so wonderful. They have made my lips really soft and helped with them being chapped. She sent me two scents and they are peppermint and vanilla. I love them both! They both have wonderful smells and go on really smooth. She did say that the products are thicker than the ones you buy in the store but you can just fix that by the heat in your fingers. 

The lip balm comes in these cute containers with a label on it. They are so small and easy to transport.

This is going to be my go-to lip balm this winter season. If you want to check her out, I have linked her Instagram and Etsy Shop pages down below. 

Her Instagram page is Bee by G Beauty. 

Her Etsy shop is Bee by G Beauty. 

How do I find the right one?

Every girl is focused on finding the right one but is they finding the one that God has set aside for them. God has the perfect person set aside for us and he will show him to us at the right time. He is preparing us for the day when he shows us that person. I know that sometimes I want God to hurry up and show me who he is but I know that he is preparing both of our hearts. He is preparing me to become a Proverbs 31 woman. He is preparing the man that I am going to marry someday to be a Godly husband.

Here are some verses that go along with this:

Genesis 1:26-27
--Then God said, "Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground. So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.  

God created us in his image. We are creatures that he created to be just like him.


Genesis 2:15
-- The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.

Genesis 2:19-25
-- Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, "This is now bone of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man." That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

We are so focused on finding the one that we miss the most important goal of finding God's one. We don't want to be single anymore. We want to have a boyfriend that will show us attention but sometimes we aren't with God's one. I know there was a bunch of times where I thought that I had found God's one but he wasn't. He treated me horribly but I appreciated the attention he gave me. I thought that maybe I could have stuck it out for 4 years. I ended that over the summer. Now, I'm just trying to find God's one. I'm going to stay single until God points him out to me. And I think that he has. He is amazing and nothing like the other guys.

Am I becoming the one?

I'm trying to. I'm trying to let God handle it.

Here are some tips for girls and guys on becoming the one and getting ready for God to reveal to you that he is ready for you to find his one for you:

Girls:
1) Love Jesus
2) Live from your beauty
being or acting dumb is dumb
3) Close the pawn shop
4) Stock the fridge

Guys:
1) Love Jesus
2) Protect your heart
3) Get your life in order
4) Say Yes to the Dress (Protect a girl's heart)

God is with us. He is with us all the time. We just need to realize that when something isn't working out then maybe he is letting you know that he is still here.

He has the perfect person picked out for us. And when we find them, it will be amazing. I have seen people that find God's one for them and it is so beautiful. Their relationship is so focused on God and you can see their love for each other and him.

He just doesn't show them to us immediately. They may come at the best or worst moments. And when he does. There is no going back.

October Favorites

I know October is not over yet but I wanted to post some of the things that I have been loving this month. This is actually my first time doing a post like this so let me know if you want me to do this post monthly. So comment if you are loving any of this stuff or anything that you want me to try for the month of November.

Books: I actually haven't got a chance to read a lot this month with school and everything. But there is a book that I have set aside for the month of November. I have had this book for awhile and I am excited to read it. I have read a few pages in it and it is good so far.

Songs: I am loving May We All by Florida-Georgia Line w/ Tim McGraw right now and also Forever Country by several Country Artists.

TV Shows: There are quite a few tv shows I am loving right now. They include This Is Us, Pitch, and Designated Survivor. These three shows are fairly new and I am enjoying watching them. I am also loving Supernatural.

Movies: Since it is Halloween season, I am loving all 4 Halloweentown movies, and Twitches 1 and 2.

Football Teams: Football has finally started and I am so excited. I am loving several football teams. The high school I graduated from, the high school the guy I am talking to graduated from, Alabama football, Tennessee Titans, and Atlanta Falcons.

Writing: I am getting into writing again this past month. I have enjoyed posting a blog post every week and just journaling my feelings. It has helped me de-stress and become calm with all of the chaos of school and life.

Smelling: I am loving the Fall scents from Bath and Body Works. I bought the lotion and spray scents and I really like them. I am also using pumpkin smelling waxes in my Scentsy so my whole house smells like a pumpkin pie.

Thinking: I have been thinking a lot. Especially about the future and what my future will be like. It's hard to imagine what my life will be like in 5-10 years. I will have started my career as a teacher and hopefully married with children.

Feeling: I have been feeling confused and conflicted this month. A lot has been happening this past month that has my feelings out of whack.

Food: I have been loving Mexican food this month. Especially homemade refried beans. I normally love Mexican food but I have had it more this month than any other month.

Drinks: It's starting to get cold so I have been drinking coffee a lot this month.

Clothes: I bought a pair of skinny jeans a couple of weeks ago and I have been loving them. I have never worn skinny jeans before and I wish that I have been. I have worn them rolled down in the mornings since it is cold but by lunch, it is hot outside so I have been rolling them up as capris. I have also been loving this black cardigan I bought. And my flannel shirt.

Losing a love one

Losing a loved one is heartbreaking especially if it is suddenly. There has been a lot of people that I know of that died really suddenly. My grandfather died suddenly in 2009. Nobody knew that it was going to happen. I talked to him on a Saturday night and then he died Tuesday morning. I think he knew that he was going to die but I didn't. I wasn't prepared. That Saturday night he talked to my whole family on the phone and told us that he loved us and was so proud of us. We hadn't seen him for 2 weeks before he died because we had the flu for a week and he had just got the flu. And then that Tuesday morning my mom got a call that he was gone. He had been at the dialysis place because of his kidneys and he choked on a lemon head. When they tried to do CPR on him, his chest cavity just collapsed. He was a block from the hospital.

We don't know when we are going to die. Only God knows. And it really does hurt when it happens because we may feel regret. Maybe we didn't spend enough time with them or said the wrong thing. I am thankful that I got 13 years with my grandfather but I feel sorry for my brother's and cousins because they didn't get that much time with him. I did. I was at his house all of the time. I helped him cook and we had recipes that were ours together. Since I spent so often at his house, I had to learn what medicine to give him and what to do if his sugar got too high or too low. I had to learn how to give him his insulin shots. I was five years old when I learned this. I wouldn't trade learning it though because it helped me become prepared as I grew older and stayed with him more.

My grandfather was amazing. He was a Godly man and loved his children and grandchildren. He was sick a lot, though. There were nights where we stayed at the hospital because we didn't know if he would even make it through the night. We traveled to Birmingham with him a lot. He had several heart attacks so that resulted in heart surgeries and bypasses. He had both legs amputated below the knee but that didn't stop him. He could also sing and I miss that. I miss getting a call on my birthday and having him sing to me. I so wish that I could have recorded it. He always kept a smile on his face and that was inspiring.

I wish that I could have had more time with him. There are things that I never experienced with him. There are moments where I miss him so much and want to see him. I sometimes pick up my phone to call him and then I remember that he isn't here anymore. When that happens, I pray to God to give me strength. And he does. He helps me remember that my grandfather is not in pain anymore. He is happy because he is with our Lord and Savior.

These are the things that I will never/never experienced with him:

1) He never did see me graduate high school
2) He didn't get to see me at prom.
3) He will never get to see me graduate college.
4) He won't be there when I get married or engaged.
5) My kids will never know him but I will tell them about him.
6) He will never meet the man that will hold my heart.

These are the things that I did experience with him:

1) My first birthday, Christmas, holidays.
2) My first day of Kindergarten.
3) My Kindergarten graduation.
4) My 5th-grade graduation.
5) 13 years of my life.

I love and miss you so much Poppie. Can't wait to see you again.

This was so hard to write and I am thankful that I get to share this with yall. Thank you for reading this.

Hello October

I know I am 6 days late on writing this but I am excited for October. October through January is my favorite months. It is finally getting cooler and I can dress cuter. I can wear my cardigans and my sweaters without sweating. This is the season for football games and bonfires and festivals. I am so excited.

Homecoming is in September and October. Homecoming is very big in my hometown. Nobody does it like us. We go all out. We actually won Homecoming this year. We won 28-12. So glad. Homecoming is fun because I get to see my best friends from high school and catch up with them. A lot has happened in almost three years and I miss them so much. These people were my rocks in high school. October also has Halloween. I love decorating and dressing up. I am dressing up as Minnie Mouse this year. An area Botanical Garden also does this thing called Scarecrows in the Park. Area businesses and schools decorate a scarecrow and set it up in the garden. They are amazing and so creative. Every year my family goes to see them and we just walk around the garden looking at the flowers and the fish.

October is also just special because it starts the holiday season and my birthday month. I turn 21 and yes I celebrate the entire month. October is so peaceful and calm and just one of the best months.

I am excited for October because it is just one of the best months. This year is going to be different because I am at a new college.

I hope that October gets better because right now, I am stressed and just ready for this year to be over with.

I hope that you like this post. It's short but I am writing it before class because that is basically my only free time. I needed to get something up this week because I am slacking on posting.

What makes me happy?

This wasn't really the blog post that I wanted to write but this topic just wouldn't leave my mind. It just suddenly came to me. Someone asked me today if I knew what makes me happy. I hesitated to answer because I really don't know what makes me happy anymore. I told you a lot because I didn't want to seem weird and depressed. And then you said name three of my most favorite and I couldn't.

The things that made me happy 6 months ago aren't the same things today. I'm not even the same person that I was 6 months ago. 6 months ago, I smiled a lot more and I was happier. What happened? Life happened. The things or people that made me happy 6 months ago don't phase me anymore. I don't even like some of the same things. It really sucks.

I spent 4 years talking to someone that made me really happy and now I don't even talk to him. He was my world and I was going to move to be with him. Did he love me? I don't know. But I loved him and he made me happy. Do I still talk to him? No, we decided it would be best that we didn't talk. It sucks because I spent so much time on him and I get thrown away.

One of my guy best friends that I have known for 4 years doesn't talk to me anymore. I was always there for him and he is never there for me. He was amazing. I was there for him.

Now I'm scared of getting close because I am scared of getting left in the dark. Everybody leaves me and it hurts. I am scared that you are going to grow tired of me and leave and I don't think I can handle it. Every time I talk to you, I think that I am going to say something stupid and that you are just going to up and leave.  And one day you will probably leave and I don't know when. I am hoping it is not anytime soon because I really like you. I haven't really liked anyone in awhile because of stuff like this.

You make me happy. I have laughed more these past two months than I have in awhile and that scares me. You are my happiness right now and I am scared to loose that. I am scared of losing the things that had made me whole and happy and just human again.

This post is really random and all over the place. I really don't know if I am making sense. This has just been on my mind for the last couple of days and I haven't been able to sleep because of it.

Top 6 TV Shows this Fall

So there are a lot of different new TV shows that is coming on this fall. I really don't get into a series but these shows are so interesting. I am really getting into them and that hardly happens. Below are 6 TV shows that I am loving right now. Comment below if you have seen any of these or if you will be watching them.

1) This Is Us- Jack and his wife - who is very pregnant with triplets -- have just moved into their new home in Pittsburgh. Successful and handsome television actor Kevin is growing increasingly bored with his bachelor lifestyle. Randall -- who was abandoned at a fire station by his father as an infant -- is a stylish New York-based businessman working to raise two daughters with his wife, Beth. These people are among a group -- several of whom share a birthday -- of seemingly random individuals whose lives intertwine in unexpected ways.

I absolutely love this show. I didn't think I was going to be into it as much as I am. I saw the previews for it and thought it was interesting. I mainly started watching it because of the actor that plays Kevin. He used to play Adam from The Young and the Restless so I wanted to see how he would do in a drama instead of a soap opera. Also, who isn't a Mandy Moore fan? She is doing amazing in this show. The first episode was weird because I didn't get it until I realized that they were adding a flashback. I really suggest that you watch this show. 

2) Designated Survivor- As a lower-level cabinet member, Tom Kirkman never imagined something would happen that would catapult him to the oval office. When a devastating attack on the night of the State of the Union address claims the lives of the president and most of the Cabinet, the Housing and Urban Development secretary -- who was named the designated survivor in case of such an event -- finds himself promoted to leader of the free world. Suddenly thrust into his new position of power, Kirkman struggles to keep the country from dissolving into chaos and must adjust to his new normal, unaware of what fresh horrors may await the United States.

This was one of the shows that I was looking forward to the most. I am not normally a history drama fan but something drew me into this show. I was hooked at the beginning. If you are a history buff, you will love this show. Even if you aren't one, you will love it. 

3) Scorpion- Eccentric genius Walter O'Brien leads a group of brilliant misfits who constitute Homeland Security's new think tank, helping defend against the high-tech threats of the computer age. The team -- dubbed Scorpion -- includes behaviorist Toby Curtis, mechanical prodigy Happy Quinn, and statistics guru Sylvester Dodd. While comfortable with one another, the team members struggle with understanding life outside their circle, so when they need help translating societal cues, they rely on the skills of Paige Dineen, a woman with a gifted young son.

This show isn't new but I had to add it. It just started a new season and I am so happy. I didn't hear about this show until my brothers became obsessed with it then they got me started watching it. It is good. 

4) Pitch- Talented baseball pitcher Ginny Baker immediately rises to fame when she is called up by the San Diego Padres and becomes the first woman in Major League Baseball. She immediately sets in on the task of proving herself to her teammates, starting with team captain and catcher Mike Lawson. The two share an immediate chemistry, putting Mike in the middle of tensions between the beautiful new player and certain teammates who don't appreciate a woman out on the mound. Not all of her fellow Padres are so averse to change, with center fielder Blip Sanders providing support through her journey.

I didn't know if I was going to like this one when it first started but I did. I like watching baseball TV shows but i'm not obsessed with them. I started watching it because one of my guy friends is obsessed with baseball so we talk about it. I really do like this show. The beginning was confusing and it wasn't until the end of the first episode that the beginning made sense. 

5) Gotham- Jim Gordon is a rising detective in corrupt Gotham City, where his late father was a successful district attorney. Brave, honest and determined to prove himself, Jim hopes to return the city to the glamorous, purer version he remembers as a child. He and his partner, legendary Detective Harvey Bullock, must navigate the dirty politics of Gotham's justice system, even as they tackle a high-profile case, the murder of billionaires Thomas and Martha Wayne. Gordon becomes a friend to their young orphan, Bruce.

I found this show on Netflix and started watching it. I binged watched it so I could catch up for the new season. It is really good and tells the story of Batman from the beginning. This was an on-the-whim show that I started watching. It was one of those late nights where I wanted something to watch. 

6) Supernatural- This haunting series follows the thrilling yet terrifying journeys of Sam and Dean Winchester, two brothers who face an increasingly sinister landscape as they hunt monsters. After losing their mother to a supernatural force, the brothers were raised by their father as soldiers who track mysterious and demonic creatures. Violent memories and relationship-threatening secrets add additional burdens on Sam and Dean as they investigate all things that go bump in the night. As old tricks and tools are rendered useless and friends betray them, the brothers must rely on each other as they encounter new enemies.

I actually started watching this show because it was on at the college that I attended. One of the Ambassadors got me hooked and I binged watched it so I would be caught up for the new season. I really love this show right now. 

20 Greatest TV Shows from the 90's-2000's

I was a child in the late 90's and early 2000's. There were several amazing tv shows that I loved back then and would watch all the time.  I think that these tv shows were the greatest shows that have been shown. Kids today have probably never heard of half of these shows before. Below are the 10 greatest tv shows from the 90's and 2000's.


1. Full House-

2. Blues Clues-

3. Rugrats-

4. Boy Meets World-

5. The Big Comfy Couch-

6. Bear in the Big Blue House-

7. Friends

8. Wild Thornberry's

9. Zoey 101

10. Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide

11. Kim Possible

12. Dragon Tale's

13. Hannah Montana

14. Zoom

15. Roseanne 

16. All Grown Up

17. Unfabulous

18. ICarly

19. Wizards of Wavery Place

20. Out of the Box

Honorable Mentions

1. Family Matters

2. Barney

3. Lizzy McGuire

4. Sesame Street

5. Saved By the Bell