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Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Open letter to the guy that I thought loved me

Dear you,

I know you know who you are. I wanted to let you know that I am not mad at you. I did think that you loved me at some point but I guess it just disappeared. I really don't know when I started loving you. I realized it during Senior year of high school. We had know each other in school and flirted but I didn't like you. I actually thought you were annoying. But somehow my feelings for you changed.

It was my Senior year of high school when I realized that I had feelings for you. We reconnected and were talking almost everyday. I realized that I liked you and that I wanted to be with you. It just felt great talking to you but I knew that I couldn't be with you. You were in the military and just got stationed in Hawaii. You had met a girl and you married her. I was happy for you but I was upset that she wasn't me. When it ended, I was excited for us.

As the years went, I guess I just liked you more. I also loved you more. And I thought you loved me. My freshman year of college came and left. We were still talking and having fun and trying to see what would happen with us. I was going to move to Hawaii to be with you. I couldn't handle being away from you.  Sophomore year of college brought us some changes. You moved back and I was so happy. But I didn't get a chance to hang out with you or talk to you as often. I talked to you more when you were in Hawaii even with the four hour time difference. I saw you and hung out with you once for our high school homecoming and it was wonderful. We were wonderful and were close. I wanted a relationship with you but something always was in our way. A girl for you or a guy for me. Different states and just work and school.

But with every beginning comes an ending. This summer we talked and I realized that your feelings for me were just friendly. Sometime along the way, you didn't love me anymore. And I didn't realize it until later that maybe I didn't really love you. That I was just hoping for a chance with you and that I was just faking the love for you. Just remember that I am always here for you and that I cherish our friendship together. Maybe the love we had will come back but I hope you succeed in life. And find someone that really loves you.

Thanks for 5 years of friendship.

3 comments:

  1. This was beautiful. I've experienced similar things to what you said at the end about "maybe I didn't really love you. That I was just hoping for a chance with you." Thank you for sharing this, and making me feel less alone in the world by doing so.

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    1. Thank you for reading it! This was just on my mind and I decided to write about it.

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  2. What a nice letter, and I definitely remember writing something similiar along these lines myself! xx Adaleta Avdic

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