Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Open letter to the guy that I thought loved me

Dear you,

I know you know who you are. I wanted to let you know that I am not mad at you. I did think that you loved me at some point but I guess it just disappeared. I really don't know when I started loving you. I realized it during Senior year of high school. We had know each other in school and flirted but I didn't like you. I actually thought you were annoying. But somehow my feelings for you changed.

It was my Senior year of high school when I realized that I had feelings for you. We reconnected and were talking almost everyday. I realized that I liked you and that I wanted to be with you. It just felt great talking to you but I knew that I couldn't be with you. You were in the military and just got stationed in Hawaii. You had met a girl and you married her. I was happy for you but I was upset that she wasn't me. When it ended, I was excited for us.

As the years went, I guess I just liked you more. I also loved you more. And I thought you loved me. My freshman year of college came and left. We were still talking and having fun and trying to see what would happen with us. I was going to move to Hawaii to be with you. I couldn't handle being away from you.  Sophomore year of college brought us some changes. You moved back and I was so happy. But I didn't get a chance to hang out with you or talk to you as often. I talked to you more when you were in Hawaii even with the four hour time difference. I saw you and hung out with you once for our high school homecoming and it was wonderful. We were wonderful and were close. I wanted a relationship with you but something always was in our way. A girl for you or a guy for me. Different states and just work and school.

But with every beginning comes an ending. This summer we talked and I realized that your feelings for me were just friendly. Sometime along the way, you didn't love me anymore. And I didn't realize it until later that maybe I didn't really love you. That I was just hoping for a chance with you and that I was just faking the love for you. Just remember that I am always here for you and that I cherish our friendship together. Maybe the love we had will come back but I hope you succeed in life. And find someone that really loves you.

Thanks for 5 years of friendship.


  1. This was beautiful. I've experienced similar things to what you said at the end about "maybe I didn't really love you. That I was just hoping for a chance with you." Thank you for sharing this, and making me feel less alone in the world by doing so.

    1. Thank you for reading it! This was just on my mind and I decided to write about it.

  2. What a nice letter, and I definitely remember writing something similiar along these lines myself! xx Adaleta Avdic